THE GORE-MENT

FRIEND - Wow! Are you working on the plot for your next murder mystery novel? It looks really intense. I bet it will be best-seller like all the others!
AUTHOR - NO! I'm trying to link my confounded Aadhaar card with all my other documents!

ESCA-HATER

LADY THINKING - These high heels were the best thing I bought. I feel so stylish, fierce and confident in them!

Stupid shoes! I never should have wasted my money on them!!

LET THE GAME BEGIN

HERMIT - Welcome to the mountain summit and my hermitage, my son. Are you here to discover the true meaning of life?

FAN - No, your Grace. I just want to be far away from any Game of Thrones spoilers and this seemed like the perfect spot!

DEVEL-UPS AND DOWNS

SNAIL WIFE - You know dear, I've been wanting to remodel the house. Especially after seeing those ads.
SNAIL FRIEND - What did your wife want, bro??
WARP - Plastic surgery.

CLEAR AS MUD

Vegetables contain dye or pesticides, fruits contain growth hormones, mangoes contain carbides, rice contains plastic, bread contains bromates, milk contains soap and processed foods contain preservatives.
So I just let my toddler eat plain old mud. That seems to be the only unadulterated and chemical free thing these days!

BAN THE DESH

FRIEND 1 - There, I knew it! With these politicians putting a ban on everything in sight, it is no wonder that our country is going against everything that they seem to be imposing!

FRIEND 2 - You idiot! You're reading an article on yesterday's ICC semi-finals. That 'ban' is short for Bangladesh!

BAN PLAN

I have an idea - let us put a ban on something mindless like, say, momos. Then the media will go into a tizzy and forget all about focusing on what we really are addicted to!