CREATING A RACKET

Given the rise in dengue and malaria cases this season, I've replaced my children's toy guns and rackets with mosquito bats. It serves a dual purpose!

ZOMA-TOED THE LINE

This is the latest, state-of-the-art armoured truck with bullet-proof tires and a special number code that only the customer can use to open the doors.

Now you can safely deliver the meals using Zomato without your employees tampering with the food.

LAZE PHASE

What?? Today is National Energy Conservation Day !

SHAADI... HARDLY.

Get me a script with a nice murder plot and lots of violence. I don't think I can direct another romantic movie after going through this spate of celebrity weddings on social media!

GETTIN' SWIGGY WITH

So I took my adolescent son to Sabarimala for the first time.
He added to their woes by pointing at the black-clad devotees and asking me what so many Swiggy delivery fellows were doing there!

HONOUR AMONG THIEVES

Remember to just rob the place and not cause any other trouble. We're respectful thieves and with this whole MeToo movement in the news, I don't want you to bring any dishonour to our gang!

JAR-GONE

FRIEND - How is it that your teenage son doesn't speak English as well as your toddler does??
MOTHER - That's because the former's idol is Kanye West, while the latter's is Peppa Pig.

LOAN MOAN

Come one, come all! We offer you a better place to store your precious money than that place next door!
Come one, come all....

THE DREAD MILL

CLIENT - Oh wow, I must be really running well. I've just burnt 149 Calories in one minute!!

PERSONAL TRAINER - I'm sorry sir, but you've been looking at your Heart Rate monitor...

MIND AND BODY TEASER

WIFE - You know, even if I was half as thin as she is, I would be so much happier...

HUSBAND - So in other words, are you saying that you WANT to be twice her size??